I’ve been thinking about “crazy” a lot. I realize I sling the word around frequently, as a synonym for things like: quirky, unusual, offbeat, intriguing. Many of us do.
There are many belief structures that build in a necessity for dependency on them in order to navigate the world successfully. We come to belief that if we deviate from them, we’ll “go crazy”. They perpetuate a belief that you need that structure to help you differentiate quickly from something dangerous and something safe. (And, as their staunch existence is dependent on us feeding them energy by our belief in them, we perpetuate them.)
Many free-thinkers venture outside the box, unplug from the matrix. This often manifests itself in art, where we have the safety of something we can deem somewhat disconnected from life. Why else might we say “Life imitates art” or vice versa, as if life and art are separate? Art may be our purest communication of truths. Look at the trend in movies, in artwork, of questioning reality, of living outside a single, structured reality. Many of us really gravitate towards this type of art, and yet when we leave a movie theater we have the safety of saying “What an interesting movie” and leaving it there, if we wish. Compartmentalization.
There is certainly a value to leaving that single, carefully structured reality. The mind and heart expansion is incredible. Yet there is a huge social stigma attached to it. If something is a little too “out there” for many to entertain, you risk alienation and others labeling you as “crazy”. Think about it. Imagine if a close friend, someone you trusted, knew for years, told you about an experience that was outside of the accepted realm of normality.
Say they reported an alien abduction, an experience with something like an angel, say they told you they had x-ray vision. Really, you can imagine any scenario that’s far enough out of the social sense of normality. How would you feel? Even if you knew them intimately, would some part of you wonder if they were straight-up NUTS? Crazy? Insane? Scared?
Why are we so automatically suspicious? Have we learned to be more scared than we are curious? How is this affecting us?
When you were a kid, did you have an experience with something you don’t know how to explain to your adult brain? Something outside the realm of traditional rationality?
Even if that wasn’t in your conscious experience, I wager that if you relax your world view structure significantly in the near future, you will witness an immense expansion and a pure happiness.
Is there value in the fear of being crazy?
I think we sometimes view fear as helping to alert us to danger ahead. This is because there is a very strong association of negativity with crazy. Sometimes as extreme as: If you think outside the box in your day-to-day life, you’re going to go crazy and kill a bunch of people. You’ll be a threat to your society and yourself. Other times, it’s moreso that you may fear being ostracized, losing friends, feeling pushed out of the reality in which you built your nest, twig by twig.
I can tell you right now that some of the realities I entertain may seem crazy to some people. I’m a happy, compassionate human being. As my compassion for humanity grows, the expansion of my thinking and feeling skyrockets and vice versa. I feel more loving and kind, more likely to be gentle and understanding rather than violent or threatening. In fact, the more I relax into the expansion of my consciousness, my fear of being ostracized or disconnected slowly dissolves, more and more. It only needs to be that way if I cling to the old belief system that it needs to. The more I let it go, the more I allow in light, love and support. The fear that others mask as contempt may nearly sideswipe me, but confronting my own fears allows me to see theirs. To send them love in return. To wish happiness and healing for them instead of revenge.
What happens as we relax our constricting structures?
I have been experimenting with this, myself, recently. I realized how much of what I deemed “crazy” in a threatening way was totally based on my own fears. I thought that if my structure toppled down, I’d be left with nothing. How could I operate in this world without validation from that structure?
Something inside me has always flirted with a back and forth pull towards and away from that validation. I started going to college, toying with getting a degree, and yet it never felt right. I didn’t fit into that system. I don’t want a corporate job. I don’t want the type of marriage and relationship I see in so many popular movies and tv shows. I don’t want to have babies just because that’s what you do. I don’t want a home that looks like it’s out of Good Housekeeping so I can impress my neighbors. Yet, I thought that maybe someday I’d have to succumb. Sometimes I’d get closer to that streamlined reality and feel that validation and it was a fantastic ego stroke. It felt satisfying on a surface-level validation way and yet, my inner magnetics repelled me ultimately. Even as I deviated from social norms, I really thought that eventually I’d have to “come around”, because that’s just the way the world works. [Note: if you own a home, are married, and have kids, I am in no way putting you down! Being drawn to those things are in no way bad or shallow; in fact, I am drawn to them, just my own version of them, not into the prescribed “normal” standard. If you feel forced into them out of fear, a gentle re-evaluation may be of service, as it was in my case.]
While in the system, I didn’t realize I could not only survive, but thrive outside of it. If you’re only doing something right now in your life because you think you have to, need to, that there’s no other way, I want to share with you, there is. There is another way. It can be disorienting and strange at first, allowing yourself outside of a single, structured reality. But you’ll keep feeling pulled towards it. And it feels good. And something amazing happens:
You start to feel better.
Actually better. Not band-aid better. Wonderful. Like you’re in alignment with how you truly want to be. And as that happens…it only feeds more and more into your happiness. You get happier. You feel more in alignment with what you want. You get happier. You feel more in alignment with what you really want. And so it continues.
How do we go about doing this?
If you’re interested in being more curious and less afraid, I’d say just start where you are. Be patient with yourself. The next time you throw out a judgement, observe that judgement. Think “huh, that’s interesting, that I have such an immediate knee-jerk reaction to something as harmless as a little thought or opinion. Why is that?”
Play. Have fun. Allow your mind and heart to roam around, to entertain the seemingly ridiculous, the impossible. Listen to music and let your mind go. What do you see? What smells, tastes, colors, hidden sounds are there in the music? When you touch an animal, a plant, another human being, just observe what that connection feels like. Go outside, regardless of whether the weather is your ideal or not, and commune with it. Have a dialogue. As you start having more fun, you might start feeling less fear in your own curiosity. The feeling is the important thing. You can reason your way into any reality you want, but until you feel comfortable there, you’re just running in intellectual circles.
Maybe it’s all about opening up. About being strong in our own happiness. If you trust yourself in how to deal with a situation, what else can scare you? If you feel grounded in who you are, ideas can’t topple you over. You may find that you have fewer belief systems, in fact, because believing something isn’t quite as important. You’re able to trust the constant transition within you, because you’re not worried about your happiness getting whisked out from underneath you.
What are your fears and curiosities about yourself and the world you live in?
What have you deemed crazy? Why?
If you’ve experimented with relaxing or expanding some of these, how has this affected you?