I’ve had acne for a long time. In so many ways, it’s been one of my greatest guides. It’s been the main vessel through which my body speaks to me, urging me forward into new territory and out of my comfort zone. Through my experience with it, I’ve come to LOVE healthy eating, natural products, yoga, meditation, spending time in nature, learning stress and anxiety reduction exercises…you name it. It helped me recognize and embrace my passion for wellness. Acne has taught me to deal with things that I’d rather keep hidden, stuffed down, away from view. Out of my own sight, but most of all, out of the sight of others.
Well guess what? Acne is obvious. That’s one of its basic characteristics. It emerges from the surface, despite how desperate you are to keep it all contained and under wraps. I was willing to get out of my comfort zone, but I had my limits. I needed to be in control, and I didn’t know how to accept love from anyone until I had perfected myself, til I could finally truly love myself. I felt it would be such a burden to open my vulnerability up to others. Ever since I was young, I’ve always felt I have to deal with my problems alone. They are my problems, and I shouldn’t add to others by sharing my own.
And so, a power struggle began. I would win at this. And I would do it alone. I felt that the only control I had was in this, my ability to do it all myself. I didn’t really trust anyone else, even if I sought out their advice and information.
Acne was a tool I used to separate myself from others. Ironically, it is now the thing that is helping me to reach out. To ask for community. To seek tribe. To understand, finally, that this power struggle had to play out to its fullest extent, before I was willing to surrender. To understand that it’s ok to release control and to trust others. It’s more than ok; it’s what I need.
Several weeks ago, I began expression my emotion, my frustration, sharing it with others. Not seeking a cure or advice, just someone to love me and listen. Since then my journey has only gotten richer, fuller and deeper.
When I watched Katie Dalebout’s video on authenticity, I softened further. (Katie Dalebout is an awesome blogger & youtuber) I allowed myself to open up, to hear someone else echo the same frustrations back but also to get vulnerable and find love and support.
There is community for me. There is tribe. There is support. There is belonging and love. As I express myself, others can only benefit and feel supported. There is no such thing as being responsible for another being’s happiness. No need to feel guilty or ashamed of my vulnerability.
I love you all; thank you for supporting me on my journey! I send that love back to you, from my own, unique perspective.
Thank you to Carly Morgan at Culinary Karma and Katie Dalebout at Wellness Wonderland for being such inspiring, awesome women! You both make me excited to push past my fears and self-imposed limits; you show me what’s possible.
I talk more about my experiences with healing & acne in my youtube video here.
Watch Katie Dalebout’s video about authenticity & healing here. PS: Check out her blog, The Wellness Wonderland! She has a whole week devoted to skin health & interviews one of my favorite youtubers & bloggers, Tracy of The Love Vitamin